Pirates, Academy? Really?

Pirates, Academy? Really?

Why choose a sleep-inducing movie when you have sheer magic?

Pixar’s Brave won the Academy Award for Best Animated Picture, and rightfully so. It was groundbreaking, visually gorgeous, carried lovely messages, and finally spoke to the half of the country—namely, the female population—that Pixar typically ignores. I will celebrate this win, by golly!

But if I had to choose a runner-up, Wreck It Ralph might have made it—it was such a cute movie, also with good messages and some great female characters, even if they were tropes. ParaNorman was a pretty good movie as well; it wasn’t what I expected at all, but in good ways. I think it deserved a nomination if only because it broke a few boundaries on its own.

I’m not a big fan of Frankenweenie, and I don’t think it really should have been nominated, but I’m even more irritated that Pirates! Band of Misfits was in the category at all.

Seriously? This movie was so incredibly dull and stupid that I fell asleep watching it several times. I woke myself up abruptly each time, so I didn’t miss much, but every other parent I spoke to about the movie hated it, too. It was boring and the female characters sucked. I could have hit myself in the foot a few times with a hammer and had a better time than I had watching this movie.

On the other hand, there was a movie that wasn’t even nominated that definitely deserved a nod, and that was Rise of the Guardians. It was a magical, stunning movie that made me laugh hard, cry, and feel like I wanted to watch it all over again immediately. In fact, I have goose bumps right now just thinking about that movie, and I wish I could pop it in now! I’ll be buying it as soon as it’s on DVD, that’s for sure.

If Brave hadn’t been released in 2012, I would have said that this was the movie to bet on for the awards—and it wasn’t even nominated! The Academy has a history of doing this, though; it seems like every year they pick a couple of duds to highlight over a decent movie or two. Heck, I would have chosen Ice Age 4 and its goofiness over the stupid Pirates! movie (or even Frankenweenie).

You got something against Santa, Academy? Because picking those pirates over him, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy is bound to cost you some pressies this year…